Imperfectly Perfect

I fix my eyes on your face

Waiting for that big smile you make

Coz it brings sunshine to my gloomy day

I am absorbed by you

You are just right the way you are

The imperfectly perfect one

I struggle to keep this sensation

Fighting back the emotions

Wondering if I can keep you

But it’s wrong and in no way possible

Coz you and I we’re never meant to be

Just two lost souls existing

Living a life away from each other

High five

My feelings are dwindling but 

let’s stay cool though.

Let’s do the same thing we’ve been doing.

No definition just nothing.

Plain friends who somehow like each other,

I can stare and you can too,

Let’s stay this way.

No strings just feelings.

We can talk all day long,

No responsibilities jut fun.

No holding hands just high fives.

Twitterpater

I was told that most men are not in it for the fuzzy feelings or that shivery feeling we women get when we are infatuated. 

More often than not they are in it for sex.

I beg to disagree but yeah it's true.

-Yna

50/50

The feelings are fading like a script written on sand.

It's a perfect definition of "I am starting to get over you"

The above said was over the weekend.

Today I still like you and the feelings are still there.

Dammit.

Guilty

Hold on tight and slowly let go.
Feel the blood pump through the veins.
Like thoughts it’ll fade away.
It is there however unnoticed.
Always.
Hayy.
---------------------------------
Today we had a fight.
I am so guilty and sorry.
I need to suppress.
I will stop looking for someone who's not you.
I will start to reminisce what I liked and loved about you.
The reason why I stayed.
I will stay contented.
I do love you.

Subtle Misery

Short Story # 4

It was a gloomy day. Her head ached like hell and she was hungry. She's a little grumpy too because she can't see his face at all. He was far away.

Yes, it was satisfyingly available but when the phone rang after 15 minutes, she frowned. 

"Toot" she hears the tone.

She gave her undying greetings and mentioned her name lazily. The person on the other line asked a question and she answered politely. He was going on and on and on but she didn't pay attention because she somehow noticed something familiar with his voice. 

"That bedroom voice! I know who this is" she said silently.

She got a little nervous and excited at the same time. She looked at him and to her surprise it was really him. For the first time, she finally heard his voice over the phone. She asked a question, stopped and looked at him. He smiled and showed the pits on his cheeks. Those irresistible hollow lines. She wanted to tease him with nonsense but she was dumbfounded. She just laughed for two minutes and she ended it as soon as possible. She looked stupid but it’s okay because the moment was worth it.

It is so funny coz there were more than 500 people taking calls that day but he ended up calling her.

What's in his name?

She hears it in the radio.

She sees it in commercials.

She notices it in posters.

She spots it on graffiti walls.

She makes it out in drawings.

She has become aware of it.

It’s now something else.

His name that was once nothing at all.

Hit-and-run

Once there was a rabbit, a smitten little one.

It liked a yellow duckling with beak shaped as gun.

The rabbit chased the duckling right under the sun.

Both rabbit and duckling were having so much fun,

But it was over when one of them got hit-and-run.

The end.

Relationshit

Today is Valentine’s Day and I should be happy but I am not.  I was hoping for something not so ordinary but I came home to the same thing. My relationship seems perfect but it isn’t. It’s as cold as the weather here. Really cold.

Everything’s routinely done. I sleep, wakeup, eat, take a bath, go to work and sleep again. Where does he come in? I sleep beside him but haven’t had sex for… l lost count. Yes that long. I wake up and he’s out of bed clicking the mouse. I eat separately and take a cold bath alone. I get scolded everyday for the simplest things.  Just because I am clumsy, just because I came home late, just because of something I said and I think just because he likes to.

He doesn’t read my stories, my essays and my poems. He doesn’t show admiration to the artworks that I make. I don’t feel the appreciation at all. I never see him browse through by doodle books.  He wouldn’t know what’s going on with me and what I am going through unless I cry.

I can’t be the sweet me around him. I can’t cuddle him up coz he gets easily tickled and it annoys him. I can’t kiss him on the neck coz it will annoy him. I can’t tease him coz it will annoy him. No long hugs, kisses or sweet nothings. It’s as stale as a one week opened soda.

(Tears falling down)

If asked if I still love him… I’d still answer “yes of course” but if asked why, I am really not sure.

I know it’s not just him. I know part of this shit is my fault too. I’ve been doing bad things. I’m trying to avoid it but it makes me happy. I think he’s doing it too. Making himself happy with other things. I am scared for 2010 to happen again. It was painful and I really don’t want to go through that anymore.

This is what I feel sometimes. Most of the time… I really don’t care.

Dull

Parang nilagang hotdog sa tubig.

Parang oatmeal na walang gatas

Iyan ang almusal ko.

Iyan ang nararamdaman ko.

Blah.

Why is everything about it so complicated?

Banana Split

All alone and got nowhere to go.
Thank you for keeping me company.
You cold delight.
All I have is you today.
The band's playing our favorite song.
Don't melt on me.
Stay.

Pop a pill

To geek or not to geek.

To endure the headaches or not to.

Available [in graphics]

I wait for you.

I always do.

Sheesh

Today, I am ending it. I've decided to. It's the right thing to do.
Even if I like it so much I have to stop it.
Just like avoiding rice I will do it.
Please stop smiling.
I am weak.

Today I am thankful for

1. Cold beer even if I have to burn it double time.
2. Surviving day ONE at work.
3. The hope of promotion, Yes I am still hopeful
4. Great Friends.
5. Best Boyfriend.
7. The words "Get over it, It's not right, It's not worth it."
I AM OVER IT FINALLY! YES! NO MORE. ENOUGH. TODAY'S THE LAST. :)

Quick glance

Towering Snout.
So delicate so cute.
Best smile I've ever seen.
I don't love you.
But I want to see you.
Look at you.
and hope that you smile
so I can see it again.

Doodler

This is how I look like,

Well according to the person who drew this.

Been busting my ass off to lose weight.

How long can I stand it?

Trying

I am moving on.
I think so.
Little by little.
I will forget.

Contaminated

Playing in the sludge with dirt stained white clothes,

Awfully disgusting yet pleasurably exhilarating,

Warm sensations trailing down from the tongue,

She swallowed.

Slowly shaking the head from left to right,

Persuading and pleading for the emotions to hold back,

Submerging the head in the muddy water,

She struggled.

Awakening the consciousness, the right and the psyche,

Pulling the body away from the filth,

Fearing the consequence of perfidy,

She opened her eyes.

How EVIL sees me

Makes me smile

Butterflies again

Part of Me

Do I stay because I love you so much?

A question I ask every waking day,

I answer it with a sigh.

I am twenty seven going on twenty eight.

Subtracting twelve in twenty eight,

That makes almost half my life.

We’ve shared good times and the harshest times,

We’ve stayed literally through thick and thin,

That can never be replaced.

I go back to the question,

I stay because I am dependent on you.

I stay because I do love you.

To think of you

I open the door,

Inhale the cold breeze outside,

Then I close my eyes.

The Plan

Avoid eye contact.

Stop remembering your name.

Cancel any connections.

Pass up a conversation.

Keep away from you.

Abandon your questions.

Discontinue looking at you.

Sit away from you.

Prevent talking about you.

Spoil tempting moments.

Walk away.

Play dead.

But I was told that if I continue to suppress this feelings the result may be an explosion of something more powerful or something that has a foul smell.

Guilty Pleasure

I said I was going to stop writing about you.

I lied.

The thoughts of you give an unusual pleasure.

It’s wrong.

Your face is imprinted in my mind.

It kills me.

 I am crazy about you.

 I’m confused.

When I close my eyes I see you.

I’m dead.

You are my guilty pleasure and I just wish this thing will fade soon.

 It has to.

Available

The green light’s lit-up

I let the cursor linger,

The waiting begins.

In a Conversation Relationship

They both agreed not to take it to the next level for they know what they will never be.

All they do is talk about anything that exists or that they can imagine. They send instant messages about what they’ve eaten, send emails about funny things and sometimes talk awkwardly in person about something that really doesn’t concern them.  

They often catch themselves looking at each other and just laugh it off with a big grin and send another message saying “I saw you smiling” or “I caught you looking at me and I did too”.

It gives them a funny feeling just like butterflies in their stomach. The question is, when will this end?

vampire

Count Von Emil Count. 

AHAHAHAHAHAHA