Your eyes, they're full of it,
Green of jealousy, red of anger,
Your words, they're full of it,
Green of jealousy, red of anger,
Your gums they're full of it,
Green of jealousy, red of anger,
Your big mouth they're full of it,
Green of jealousy, red of anger,
I bet you yellow you're scared,
I bet you violet you're dead.
I bet you my pink it's changed.
I stick my toungue out it's rainbow.
12:00pm today.
I just realized how men can really be a pig sometimes even if they are the nicest person in the whole wide world. Now I can really say that men are liars. They really are. They can lie in your face so easily. Okay, I won't generalize that. Just rephrase it by adding the word "some" or "most" to the word men.
I asked myself this question: What makes them lie?
One reason that I can think of is that they are just inborn liars. Another reason is to protect themselves from whatever they are protecting themselves from. One more reason, which I think I am convincing myself that this is the reason why I was lied to but in reality I really dont know why, is because they don't want us to get hurt. I really think it is pathetic when they would use "I don't want you to get hurt" as a reason because if we eventually find out that they lied to us it is two times or unmeasurably painful. Right? I thought so.
Right now, it is already 1:15pm. I am still confused on what I should do but I have a clear picture of what is the right thing to do. Emotions. Oh thou a heartless bitch. Good luck to me.
I am giving myself 2 months to move on if everything fails this month.
You still have twenty five days to decide.
2014 should be dedicated to myself and to someone who truly deserves my time, attention, efforts and most of all, my heart.
I have learned to use pain as a reason to move on so I am going to use that if everything is still fucked up. But right now, the last 25 days, will be a challenge. A challenge to you and a challenge to me.
I ask myself that question over and over and over again but I think it is useless. I also think of holding on even if there is no hope at all. I want my happiness back. I want the old me back but I forgot how I was before you came. I know you are not the only source of my happiness but you are pretty much most of it. I try to remove you from my head by thinking of the pain I have experienced with you but I just can't. Thoughts of you haunt me in my sleep. Thoughts of you burns my heart with pain. I hug my pillow tight forcing myself to forget and ease the pain but I just can't. It has been three days since and I know it will take me a lot of time to move on. You see everything I do involves you. Everything I do I see you. I am in so much pain. I swear. I am still hoping but I know you are trying to forget me. So I will try to do the same. I will try. If I can't do it, I will cry.
I cry and pray to the Gods for them to give you to me.
You are my soulmate, my destiny and my only love.
I guess they are punishing me because obviously you are not with me.
I am hurting because you have made your decision.
I am hurting because I am left hanging.
I wish for an explanation.
:(
